Understanding human motivation. Many psychologists describe two dominant perspectives that often drive our thinking:
- “I have something I don’t want.”
This is a perspective of moving away from pain. The focus is on a problem, discomfort, fear, conflict, illness, debt, loneliness, or a situation that feels unbearable. The question becomes:- How do I get rid of this?
- How do I escape this?
- How do I stop feeling this way?
While this can create urgency and motivate change, if it becomes your only perspective, life can feel like a constant battle against problems.
- “I don’t have something I want.”
This is a perspective of moving toward pleasure or purpose. The focus shifts to possibility, growth, and creating something meaningful. The questions become:- What kind of life do I want?
- What do I want to build?
- Who do I want to become?
This perspective is driven by vision rather than fear. It tends to create enthusiasm, resilience, and long-term fulfillment.
The healthiest approach is to recognize both perspectives. Pain often gets our attention, but purpose keeps us moving. We may begin change because we no longer want to suffer, but lasting transformation usually happens because we become inspired by the person we want to become.
A simple way to reflect on this is to ask yourself:
- What am I trying to move away from?
- What am I intentionally moving toward?
The first question helps you understand your pain. The second helps you discover your purpose. When you know both answers, your decisions become clearer and your life gains direction.
