THE BECOME METHOD™
Identity-Based Healing
A healing modality born from the teachings of BECOME: The Identity Behind Your Results
Healing is not always about changing what happened to you.
Sometimes healing is about changing who you believe you became because of what happened to you.
Life experiences can leave us with conclusions about ourselves:
- I am not good enough.
- I am unlovable.
- I always fail.
- I cannot trust people.
- I have to be strong all the time.
- I don’t deserve success.
- I am damaged.
- I am a victim.
- I will never change.
Over time, these conclusions can become identities.
And once an identity becomes established, we often begin to behave in ways that confirm it.
The BECOME Method works with this cycle:
Experience → Meaning → Belief → Identity → Behaviour → Results
The purpose of the method is to interrupt that cycle and consciously create a new one:
Awareness → Understanding → Release → Re-identification → Embodiment
B — BECOME AWARE
“What have I come to believe about myself?”
Healing begins with awareness.
Before you can change an identity, you must become conscious of it.
The practitioner helps the person explore the identities they currently carry.
Ask:
- Who do I believe I am?
- What do I believe about myself?
- What do I believe I am capable of?
- What do I believe I deserve?
- What do I believe about love?
- What do I believe about success?
- What do I believe about failure?
- What do I believe about relationships?
- What do I believe about myself when nobody is watching?
Then ask the deeper question:
“Where did I learn this?”
The goal is not to judge the identity.
The goal is to see it.
Awareness creates separation between:
“This is who I am.”
and
“This is what I have learned to believe about who I am.”
That distinction is the beginning of healing.
E — EXPLORE THE ORIGIN
“How did this identity become mine?”
Every identity has a history.
The person explores significant experiences that may have contributed to their current self-belief.
This can include:
- childhood experiences
- rejection
- criticism
- abandonment
- betrayal
- failure
- humiliation
- trauma
- relationships
- family expectations
- cultural messages
- comparison
- repeated disappointments
- achievements that became attached to worth
The practitioner does not attempt to erase the past.
Instead, the person learns to reinterpret it.
Ask:
“What happened?”
Then:
“What did you decide it meant about you?”
And finally:
“Is that conclusion still true?”
This is an important distinction.
The event happened.
But the identity created from the event may not be the truth.
C — CHALLENGE THE OLD IDENTITY
“Is this really who I am?”
Once the old identity has been identified, it must be questioned.
The person writes down the identity they have been carrying.
For example:
OLD IDENTITY:
“I am a failure.”
Then examine the evidence.
Ask:
- Is this completely true?
- Has there ever been evidence against it?
- What have I survived?
- What have I accomplished?
- What strengths have I demonstrated?
- Who would I be without this belief?
- What opportunities has this identity prevented me from pursuing?
- What behaviours has this identity produced?
Then introduce a crucial principle:
“A belief is not necessarily a fact simply because I have believed it for a long time.”
The person begins to separate identity from history.
They may have experienced failure.
They are not therefore a failure.
They may have experienced rejection.
They are not therefore unworthy of love.
They may have made terrible decisions.
They are not therefore a terrible person.
This stage creates psychological space between the person and the identity.
O — ORGANISE A NEW IDENTITY
“Who do I choose to become?”
Healing cannot stop at removing the old identity.
There must be something new to move toward.
The person creates a new identity statement.
Not:
“I want to be confident.”
But:
“I am becoming a confident person.”
Not:
“I want to be successful.”
But:
“I am a person who takes responsibility for creating meaningful success.”
The new identity must be:
Positive.
Authentic.
Possible.
Personally meaningful.
Behaviourally demonstrable.
Create five statements:
1. I AM
Who am I becoming?
2. I BELIEVE
What do I now choose to believe about myself?
3. I DESERVE
What am I willing to accept as worthy of receiving?
4. I DO
What behaviours demonstrate my new identity?
5. I BECOME
Who will I continue becoming through these choices?
M — EMBODY THE NEW IDENTITY
“How would this person live?”
Identity does not change simply because we repeat positive statements.
The new identity must be experienced through behaviour.
The practitioner therefore helps the person identify small daily actions that prove the new identity.
For example:
If the new identity is:
“I am a person who respects myself.”
Then ask:
“What would a person who respects themselves do today?”
Perhaps they:
- establish a boundary
- say no
- rest without guilt
- speak kindly to themselves
- leave an unhealthy situation
- ask for help
- keep a promise to themselves
Every behaviour becomes evidence.
And evidence strengthens identity.
The cycle becomes:
New Identity → New Behaviour → New Evidence → Stronger Identity → New Results
This is the heart of the BECOME Method.
THE BECOME HEALING SESSION
A practitioner can structure a session around six movements.
1. IDENTIFY
“What identity are you currently living from?”
2. TRACE
“Where did this identity come from?”
3. QUESTION
“What evidence supports it, and what evidence challenges it?”
4. RELEASE
“What old conclusion are you willing to stop carrying?”
5. CREATE
“Who do you choose to become?”
6. EMBODY
“What will you do today that proves your new identity?”
THE IDENTITY RELEASE EXERCISE
Invite the person to close their eyes and imagine the old identity as something they have been carrying.
It may be represented as:
- a heavy coat
- a backpack
- a mask
- a photograph
- a name
- a label
- a heavy stone
Ask them to imagine removing it.
Then say:
“This identity may have helped you survive a chapter of your life, but you do not have to carry it into the next chapter.”
Allow them to acknowledge what the old identity tried to do for them.
Then:
“Thank it for what it taught you. Release what you no longer need. And make room for who you are becoming.”
The person then visualises themselves stepping into their new identity.
Not as a fantasy.
But as a possibility they are prepared to demonstrate through their choices.
THE BECOME STATEMENT
At the end of the process, the person creates a personal statement.
It follows this structure:
I am ____________________.
I no longer define myself by ____________________.
I choose to believe ____________________.
I deserve ____________________.
I will demonstrate this identity by ____________________.
Every day I am becoming ____________________.
This becomes their personal identity declaration.
THE 30-DAY IDENTITY EMBODIMENT
The BECOME Method can continue beyond the healing session.
For 30 days, the person chooses one new identity.
For example:
“I am a person who values myself.”
Every morning they ask:
“If this is who I am, how will I live today?”
Every evening they ask:
“What did I do today that provided evidence of this identity?”
They record one piece of evidence every day.
At the end of 30 days, they review the evidence.
The objective is not perfection.
The objective is congruence.
Their behaviour begins to match the identity they consciously chose.
THE CORE PRINCIPLE
The BECOME Method does not teach people to pretend to be someone they are not.
It teaches them to discover that the identity they have been living from may not be the only identity available to them.
You are not simply the sum of what happened to you.
You are also the person who decides what those experiences mean, what you learn from them, and who you choose to become next.
You cannot always change your past.
But you can change the identity you carry forward from it.
And when identity changes, behaviour begins to change.
When behaviour changes, results begin to change.
And when results begin to change, life begins to look different.
That is the journey of BECOME.
Awareness.
Understanding.
Release.
Re-identification.
Embodiment.
Don’t simply change what you do.
