Based on the fish and water concept in the book, I would build the teaching modality around one central truth:
We often struggle to see what is surrounding us because what surrounds us has become normal to us.
The fish does not know it is in water. In the same way, human beings can live inside patterns of thinking, relationships, beliefs, emotions, environments and behaviours without recognising that these things are shaping their lives.
Teaching Modality: The Water We Live In
Core teaching principle
“What surrounds you, shapes you—even when you don’t see it.”
The purpose of this teaching modality is to help people become aware of the invisible environments they live inside and to recognise how those environments influence who they become.
It can be used as a workshop, keynote, group teaching program, counselling framework, or chapter-by-chapter teaching journey alongside the book.
THE WATER WE LIVE IN
A journey from unconscious living to conscious awareness
The teaching follows the journey of the fish through seven stages.
1. THE WATER — What surrounds me?
The first question is simply:
“What am I swimming in?”
We begin by helping participants identify the environments surrounding their lives.
Their:
- relationships
- family systems
- workplace
- friendships
- culture
- beliefs
- conversations
- habits
- technology
- social media
- fears
- expectations
- memories
- emotional patterns
The important teaching is:
You cannot change what you have never noticed.
2. THE NORMAL — What have I accepted as normal?
The fish doesn’t question the water because it has never known anything else.
Human beings do the same.
We can become accustomed to:
- criticism
- conflict
- rejection
- anxiety
- people-pleasing
- overworking
- emotional distance
- unhealthy relationships
- negative self-talk
- scarcity
- fear
- addiction
- dysfunction
Eventually we stop asking:
“Is this healthy?”
and start asking:
“How do I survive this?”
This is where awareness begins.
3. THE MIRROR — What is the water doing to me?
Now we move from environment to impact.
Ask:
“Who am I becoming because of the environment in which I live?”
Participants examine:
- How do I think?
- How do I speak?
- How do I respond?
- What do I fear?
- What do I believe about myself?
- What have I stopped believing?
- What behaviours have I developed?
The key teaching:
Your environment may not determine who you are, but it can profoundly influence who you become.
4. THE MOMENT — When did I first notice the water?
Every transformation begins with a moment of awareness.
Sometimes it comes through pain.
Sometimes through a conversation.
Sometimes through a relationship.
Sometimes through loss.
Sometimes through a question.
And sometimes someone simply says:
“Have you ever noticed that you’re living in water?”
This stage teaches the power of the awakening question.
Instead of immediately trying to fix people, we teach them to notice.
5. THE SURFACE — What happens when I look beyond what I know?
The fish begins to discover that there may be a world beyond the water.
This represents possibility.
Participants begin asking:
“What if life could be different?”
Not:
“How do I become someone else?”
But:
“Who could I become if I were no longer controlled by what has surrounded me?”
This is where hope enters the teaching.
6. THE CHOICE — What water do I choose?
Awareness creates responsibility.
Once I recognise my environment, I have choices.
I can:
- stay
- leave
- change it
- create boundaries
- seek help
- change my relationships
- change my thinking
- change my habits
- change my environment
- change my response
The critical teaching here is:
You may not have chosen the water you were born into, but you can choose what water you swim in next.
7. THE OCEAN — What will I create for others?
The teaching ends by turning the participant outward.
Once I become aware of my water, I have another responsibility:
What kind of water am I creating for the people around me?
Parents ask:
“What environment am I creating for my children?”
Partners ask:
“What does it feel like to live with me?”
Leaders ask:
“What atmosphere do I create for my team?”
Teachers ask:
“What world am I creating for my students?”
And every person asks:
“When someone swims into my life, do they find safety, freedom and life—or fear, pressure and pain?”
That becomes the final transformation.
THE TEACHING CYCLE
I would make the entire modality extremely simple:
NOTICE → UNDERSTAND → QUESTION → CHOOSE → CHANGE → CREATE
Notice what surrounds you.
↓
Understand how it has shaped you.
↓
Question whether it still serves you.
↓
Choose what you want to keep.
↓
Change what needs to change.
↓
Create a healthier environment for yourself and others.
THE CENTRAL TEACHING QUESTION
Throughout the entire program, return to one question:
“What water are you swimming in?”
Then progressively deepen it:
What surrounds me?
What has become normal to me?
What has this environment taught me?
What has it taken from me?
Who have I become inside it?
What would happen if I changed my environment?
What kind of environment do I want to create?
A POWERFUL EXERCISE: “DRAW YOUR WATER”
Give every participant a blank piece of paper.
Ask them to draw themselves as the fish.
Around the fish, write everything that currently surrounds them.
For example:
Family
Marriage
Work
Money
Fear
Faith
Friends
Technology
Past
Expectations
Habits
Beliefs
Self-talk
Environment
Then ask them to circle everything that gives them life.
Put a line through everything that takes life from them.
Then ask:
“If you had to swim in this water for the next ten years, what would happen to you?”
That question can become one of the most powerful moments in the teaching.
THE FINAL LESSON
The fish’s greatest problem isn’t necessarily the water.
Its greatest problem is that it doesn’t know it’s there.
And that gives us the deeper human lesson:
Sometimes the thing limiting your life isn’t something you can see. It is something you have become so accustomed to that you no longer recognise it as a limitation.
Healing therefore begins with awareness.
Growth begins with awareness.
Change begins with awareness.
Freedom begins with awareness.
And sometimes the most important thing a teacher can do is not give someone an answer.
It is to ask them a question they have never thought to ask:
