Radio Interview
The Place Where We Get Stuck: Choosing Between Hunger and Thirst
1. What is your new book about?
Answer:
My new book, The Place Where We Get Stuck: Choosing Between Hunger and Thirst, is really about one of the most common struggles we experience as human beings: we know we need to make a choice, but we don’t make it.
The book uses a simple metaphor: imagine a person who is desperately hungry and desperately thirsty, but instead of choosing food or water, they remain standing between the two.
That is what many of us do in life.
We have opportunities, relationships, dreams, decisions and changes that need to be made, but we become overwhelmed by the choices available to us. We keep thinking, analysing and postponing.
Eventually, not choosing becomes a choice in itself.
This book is about understanding why we get stuck and, more importantly, learning how to move.
2. Where did the idea for this book come from?
Answer:
The idea came from observing people—and, if I’m honest, from observing myself.
I have seen how easily people can become paralysed when they have too many choices.
We often think having more choices will make us happier. But sometimes the opposite happens. The more options we have, the harder it becomes to choose.
I became fascinated by that space between knowing and doing.
We know we should leave the relationship. We know we should start the business. We know we should look after ourselves. We know we should forgive. We know we should change.
But somehow we remain standing between the hunger and the thirst.
That became the central question of the book:
What keeps us standing still when we already know we need to move?
3. What do you mean by “hunger” and “thirst”?
Answer:
Hunger represents the things we desire.
We hunger for success, recognition, love, achievement, security, money, connection, purpose and significance.
Thirst represents something different. It represents what we need at a deeper level.
And sometimes what we hunger for isn’t what we actually need.
We can spend years pursuing something because we are hungry for it, while our deeper self is thirsty for something completely different.
For example, someone might hunger for financial success but actually thirst for peace.
Someone might hunger for recognition but thirst for acceptance.
Someone might hunger for achievement but thirst for meaning.
The challenge is learning to distinguish between what I want and what I truly need.
4. Why do people struggle so much with making decisions?
Answer:
There are many reasons.
Sometimes it is fear. Sometimes it is perfectionism. Sometimes it is a fear of making the wrong decision.
Sometimes we are afraid of disappointing other people.
And sometimes we simply have too many choices.
We live in a world where we have unprecedented access to information and possibilities. We can compare everything, research everything and keep looking for a better option.
But there comes a point where more information doesn’t create more clarity—it creates more hesitation.
One of the messages in my book is that you don’t always need another option.
Sometimes you need the courage to choose one.
5. What happens when we continually postpone making decisions?
Answer:
Something very important happens: life continues without us.
Time doesn’t wait for our decisions.
While we’re thinking about whether to start, somebody else has started.
While we’re deciding whether to change, years can pass.
While we’re wondering whether to leave, the relationship can deteriorate further.
Procrastination feels like we’re doing nothing, but we’re actually making a decision—to remain where we are.
And that is why I believe one of the most powerful questions we can ask ourselves is:
“What is my indecision costing me?”
Not just financially.
What is it costing me emotionally? Spiritually? Relationally? In terms of my potential?
6. Is the book telling people to make quick decisions?
Answer:
No. And I think that distinction is important.
I’m not advocating reckless decision-making.
There are decisions that require careful consideration, wisdom, information and counsel.
What I’m challenging is indefinite hesitation.
There is a difference between taking time to make a wise decision and using “I’m still thinking about it” as a permanent hiding place.
The book encourages people to become intentional about their decisions.
Ask the right questions.
Understand your values.
Understand what you really need.
Then, when the time comes, choose and move.
7. Who is this book really for?
Answer:
I believe it is for anybody who feels stuck.
You might be stuck in your career.
You might be stuck in a relationship.
You might be stuck financially.
You might be stuck because you don’t know what the next chapter of your life should look like.
You might even be successful on the outside but privately know that something isn’t right.
The book is also for people standing at a crossroads.
And perhaps most importantly, it is for the person who keeps saying:
“One day I’ll…”
One day I’ll start.
One day I’ll change.
One day I’ll leave.
One day I’ll forgive.
One day I’ll become the person I know I can be.
The question is:
What if one day is today?
8. What do you hope readers will discover about themselves?
Answer:
I hope they discover that being stuck isn’t necessarily a sign that something is wrong with them.
Sometimes being stuck is simply an indication that something needs to change.
I want readers to become more self-aware.
I want them to ask:
What am I really hungry for?
What am I really thirsty for?
What am I afraid to choose?
What decision have I been postponing?
And perhaps the biggest question:
What would my life look like if I stopped waiting for certainty and started acting with intention?
The book isn’t about creating a perfect life.
It’s about creating a chosen life.
9. If someone listening right now feels stuck, what is the first thing they should do?
Answer:
Stop.
Before making another decision, stop and become honest with yourself.
Take a piece of paper and write down two questions:
“What am I hungry for?”
And:
“What am I thirsty for?”
Then write the answers without judging them.
You may discover that what you have been pursuing isn’t what you really need.
Then ask yourself:
“What decision am I avoiding?”
You don’t necessarily have to solve your whole life today.
Just identify the next honest step.
Sometimes we become overwhelmed because we’re trying to see the entire staircase.
You only need to see the next step.
10. What is the one message you want people to take away from this book?
Answer:
I would say this:
Don’t spend your life standing between the hunger and the thirst.
Life will always give us choices.
There will always be uncertainty.
There will always be another option, another opinion and another reason to wait.
But eventually, we have to choose.
Choose what matters.
Choose what aligns with your values.
Choose what gives your life meaning.
Choose what you know, deep down, you need to choose.
Because the greatest danger isn’t always making the wrong choice.
Sometimes the greatest danger is making no choice at all.
And that is The Place Where We Get Stuck.
It’s an invitation to stop standing between the two—and finally choose.
